Honky Tonk Cowboy by Mister Muster (aka Stan Clear)

Monday, 27 June 2011

Noonamah Rodeo, 25-6-11 (1)


   On the outside wall of the dunnies in the beergarden is a mural ‘Where the f*** is Noonamah?’ The jukebox plays non-stop country tunes. I manically scribble the names of the singers in my notebook to get hold of for the play-list on the truck.    
   Noonamah consists of a pub, roadhouse, caravan park and rodeo arena all owned by Tony. Technically he is the King, Lord Mayor and entertainment director of Noonamah. He tells us the spot to park the Retreat between the grandstands and hay bales. This small cluster of buildings surrounded by horizon scrubland gives no illusion of the crowds that will attend. We set up the Retreat in relentless sun, free from any ocean breeze or shade. My 5 dollar straw cowboy hat comes in real handy. Manu gets a jug of ice water from the bar and there is a bunch of ants swimming around the ice cubes. ‘She’ll be right, mate,’ says Ben. One can only assume the poor critters were munching on the last of the dry beer and the bar-lady thought it was a clean jug. Last I checked, live ants weren’t an option in a post-mix gun.
   The event is Friday and Saturday evening after sundown. As the people roll in and before proceedings start I humbly play a few country tunes, not really knowing what goes on. I test Damo’s mike with an old gag – ‘This guy walks in to a psychiatrist’s office and says, “Doc, you have to help me. Every night when I go to sleep I dream I’m a cowboy.” The doctor says, “How long has that been going on?” The guy says, “About a YEEE-AARR!”’

   Water sprinklers rain on the arena to keep the dust down. The smell of agitated cattle and horses in pens changes to barbequed cattle on hotplates depending on wind direction. Surely a bull’s irritation is increased by a whiff of its grilled cousin. Tara sings the national anthem then the Ro-J starts – introducing the riders with loud re-mix doof. They run out through smoke machine clouds and line the centre of the arena. So much for my idea of playing a few nice country tunes for the audience – each ride is accompanied by fully-revved music and commentary. 
   The XXXX Angels circulate through the crowd carrying small white buckets to collect donations for Angelmans disease – a genetic disorder that affects children. Treatment is only available overseas.








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